We are excited to be hosting a brand new piece written by Safiya Al Nuaimi for our Growth theme! We hope you enjoy her piece titled “Self-Growth”
I write this after giving my final speech in university. The shy and reluctant to speak woman stood on a platform in front of an audience of merely 20 people. I shared with them what I will share today in my piece.
I mentioned how people’s stares were agonizing me, especially after I turned 18. Everything served as an eye-opener; It is as if I was born for the first time. People always stared. Why did it bother me now?
They’d probe me and scrutinize me as if I don’t fit them, as if I don’t belong here. I hated that; I questioned myself for it. To change that, I knew I had to make something happen. So I took the decision of becoming confident.
I am an advocate of personal development. I spent every other holiday and summer working on a personality flaw in order to fix anything that might make me insecure or flawed. I was mean and negative; I became sweet and positive. I was hesitant and silent; I became bolder, stronger, and more social. I changed everything that might serve as a pet peeve to people. Yes, some of my altered traits were driven by people’s preferences. After all, they see me from an angle I fail to see, and so I have to lose the need to be right and take into consideration how they see me.
Two years later, standing on a stage was a 20-year-old confident woman sharing with her audience how people’s stares no longer mean a thing to her because she is not diffident anymore. There’s nothing wrong with me for me to question their gazing.
There’s this unbelievable joy in seeing yourself grow. In just a matter of two years, I went from refusing to talk to shop clerks or ask for help anywhere to cracking jokes with strangers. In just a matter of two years, I went from shaking over the idea of meeting someone new to opening up to people I met for the first time not stopping to wonder if they’ll judge me or have a bad impression for whatever blabber I say. In just a matter of two years, the people who used to intimidate me are now intimidated by me.
So go ahead and take the risk of putting your life under construction. Sit and reflect on what traits need to stay and what traits need to go. You think self-growth only benefits you when you think about it, your surrounding gets influenced by you without you even knowing. I see my people grow and I grow stronger than ever. So let’s all take an oath to change to the better to make this world better.
Author: Safiya Al Nuaimi