“I’m just who I’m” – A child’s message to their parents

We’ve recieved a very interesting story from Ayesha Butti Saeed, whose has shown that by using a 1st person’s technique to bring out a characters thoughts can really be effective when wanting to deliver a message or a lesson in the story.

Mostly in the families with simple education, kids (specially the elder ones) get lots of pressure from their family members. Mostly that pressure will be from the parents other than anyone else because simply they are the one who have the right to do that, but some parents’ takes advantage of that right to destroy those little dreams of their children without thinking of it. In this article i will be writing what a child mostly fear to speak about in public, a message that every parent should read to understand their children’s thinking and behavior.

You are big now, so behave like one!

Not every child that reaches certain stage will be qualified or ready to act according to their age. Instead of asking your child to behave in their age look at them and try to figure out the way they think, talk to them about their future dreams, hopes, things that makes them happy and places that they prefer to go to, by asking that you will find out a lot about your child and how he/she prefer to be treated.

In this generation children prefer to be left alone or just hang out with their friends because they can talk to them without the fear of being misunderstood or told to be quiet. Children need to be listened to and understand their needs, they need someone they can talk to that’s why even if they grow up they still have imaginary friends, because whatever they are frustrated about they can only talk to their teddy bears or pillow about it.

Stop comparing me to them

Any parents’ biggest mistake is comparing a child to another, if you are one of them, then i would like to tell you that by doing this you might make your child better, but in them self they are suffering the worst pain ever but they can’t show that because the want to make you proud. Mostly parents think that by comparing a friend of my child will make my child behave like that person or even better, that might come true but you will lose the trust of your child because simply you didn’t accept them the way they are and asked for someone else.

Educate your child to be confident within them self, not by looking at someone else’s behavior. Let them behave the way they usually do and if you see something wrong in it don’t punish them, instead of that try to improve it so they can simply be them self and also enjoy it without any regrets. Try to break the walls between you and your child by doing activities together and notice how your child prefer to do it, when you understand their behavior you will be able to solve any problem related to your child in a minute.

Am not unrealistic, I’m unique

As I moved on to learn about myself and others around me, I have learned that not everyone have the chance to speak up and fight for their rights. I have seen and known lots of parents would call their child unrealistic just because they have another dream than what their parents do. I know you want the best for your child, but will you be happy to see your child do something they are miserable about? If you really love your child you will support them no matter what.

Some parents consider what people think is ok, specially when it comes to their child working somewhere or making a career out of something they never had experience in. For example, if my friend’s child has become successful as a doctor my child should also become a doctor. I would love to advise you to support them and don’t think negative about what they do just because you don’t have any experience in that field, try opening up to new things, being supportive and learn from your child because you never know what you can learn from their intelligent, fresh and creative minds. Give them a chance to make mistakes and let them learn from it, because in that way they won’t forget what they learned.

Lots of parents complain that their child don’t hear them out when they try to start a conversation with them., or it always ends up with a fight or one of the party leaving the room in anger. Here are some tips or things you can keep it in your mind while talking to your child.

10 tips when talk to your child

  • Be free and keep everything that can distract you away from listening to them
  • When talking try to listen to what they say and don’t argue on their words
  • Listen to the end, and respect their words, their comments and commitments
  • If you hear something that you don’t like, ask them to explain their reasons for this behavior
  • Don’t reply them back immediately, give it a day and think about what they said
  • If there was a wrong behavior, don’t blame them instead of that listen to their reason
  • Always try to speak about what they did all day and motivate their decision
  • Smile as you talk to your child and think of them as a friend more than a child
  • If you want to receive respect, give them the respect they deserve
  • Always end up the conversations with something positive, a thank you, hug or even some positive plans for weekends for example

Your children love you and all they want is to do what they love and see you being proud of them. Accept your child the way they are and you will find the happiness that you always requested for. To understand a heart you must listen to it and the key of a successful family is the happiness, love and trust that are being spread among the members in the family

Written by:  Ayesha Butti Saeed

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